


Heartbeat

by TansyPoisoning



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Breeding, Dark Character, Dubious Consent, F/M, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 17:48:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TansyPoisoning/pseuds/TansyPoisoning
Summary: In which Steve comes back from the past to be with you, but he’s not the same person he was when he left





	Heartbeat

Friday night was movie and pizza night – those were the sacred rules set up by you, Sam and Bucky, and they had been diligently followed ever since their implementation. That was four months ago, two weeks after Steve had left. It started as a way to help you three cope with his departure, but you continued to do it after you all came to terms about not having him around anymore, and it became a cherished tradition.

One of you would responsible for the Pizza each Friday, and that night it was Bucky’s turn. He went out in his quest for carbs while you and Sam perused movies, cuddling on the couch.

Your relationship with the two of them had changed since Steve left. You had always gotten along; It was platonic at first, but now the lines between friendly and romantic had become blurry. Playful remarks had grown flirtatious and casual touches felt much more intimate, and at some point it became common place for you to snuggle up to them like they were your lovers. Neither one of them seemed to think that was weird, or act jealous of the other, or try to push for something more – perhaps they had no romantic interest in you, or perhaps it was all too similar to another relationship in your past.

Before Steve had parted, you were certain there was something between the two of you. The lingering glances, the way he would brush a part of his body against yours whenever he passed by, the way his body would be turned in your direction even when he was talking to someone else, how he would wrap you in his arms when you were cold, the compliments he paid you on more than your combative abilities and the sweet tone his voice would acquire when he talked to you… You had been so sure that he liked you as more than an ally and more than a friend, you knew he felt strongly about you, but you had been too shy and too stupid to do anything at the time – not unlike you now, you supposed. You wondered if, if you had taken the first step, he would’ve stayed for you.

Sometimes you wondered; if your dynamic with Sam and Bucky mimicked the one you used to have with Steve, what did that say about you?

You chased those thoughts away and focused on the roster of movie titles scrolling down the screen and snuggled closer to Sam, and then you heard it: Bucky’s footsteps were approaching the front door, but there was another set behind him, one you would be able to recognize in a stadium full of Fred Astaire clones.

The door opened and Bucky stepped inside, pizza boxes balanced on his vibranium arm, and behind him-

You sat up with a jolt, Sam right behind you. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Steve?” Sam asked as you mouthed the name along with him.

Bucky turned to the blond with a sheepish smile, and Steve rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“I’m… I’m back.” He said, embarrassed and uncomfortable, but not as much as you thought he should be.

Sam rose from his seat and all but ran towards the man, patting his shoulder and embracing him.

“Dude, I can’t believe it! You’re back?” Then he turned to Bucky “He’s back?”

There was nothing in Sam’s wide grin or Bucky’s soft smile that indicated any sort of reservation, and Steve was just as pleased as them. They didn’t act like this was weird, like Steve hadn’t left them – _left you_ – without so much as saying goodbye.

He had left you. He had left all of you, and now he wanted to saunter back into your lives like nothing had happened, and Sam and Bucky were going to let him do it.

You heard your name being called (had you stewed in anger that long?) and you returned to the present to meet two pairs of concerned eyes and… Steve’s. You couldn’t put a name to the emotion you saw in his pupils, but you had never seen it on him before.

“Oh, yeah!” Sam’s voice cut the tension, then he turned to Steve, smiling once more “Did Mega Man tell you about movie night?”

“He might’ve mentioned it.” The other replied, starting what felt to you like a mockery of the relationship they used to have. “We can keep that a mystery for now too.” He was talking about his reason for coming back, he had to be.

“Hey, listen, if you’re gonna want your shield back-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve interrupted, clasping the other’s shoulder “My fighting days are over, and I meant what I said when I gave it to you.”

“Good, because I wasn’t going to give it back.” Sam declared, causing Steve to open his mouth in fake outrage.

“Oh, that’s how it is?”

“That’s how it is.” He agreed, and the two chuckled in misplaces camaraderie.

You remained in your seat, barely acknowledging Steve when he sat on the armchair beside the couch. The movie was a blur, but the night was endless, and you were forced to listen to the Three Musketeers share tales, too busy to pay attention to you for the most part. A couple of times you had caught Steve looking at you with that strange expression, akin to a dog sinking its teeth into a bone after someone tried to take it from him.

At some point you refused to take your eyes from off the screen. The plot of the movie was lost on you, the images burning into your mind but meaning nothing, but it didn’t matter. You couldn’t force yourself to look at him.

* * *

In the end, Steve never explained his reasons for returning. Sam and Bucky couldn’t tell you much, and you refused to ask him personally.

Steve had been serious about leaving the moniker of Captain America behind. He told everyone that he was retiring from duty, even argued with Fury about it, only appeasing the man when he said he would fight if the world truly needed him, but otherwise he intended to lead a peaceful life from now on. He insinuated he had some big plans for himself, but he didn’t say what those were.

In spite of his claims of wanting a calmer life, he wasn’t fully stepping away from SHIELD. Steve Rogers, military analyst, who would’ve guessed?

You were doing your best to avoid interacting with him in all capacities, but it was surprisingly difficult. As a consequence of both your jobs, you often heard his voice through intercoms and met him when you needed to be briefed on missions or deliver reports – not to mention how often Bucky and Sam arranged for the four of you to hang out.

Considering Steve was all but being pushed on you, you tried your best to be friendly so things wouldn’t be too awkward, but he wasn’t helping. He was charming to colleagues, carefree around Sam and Bucky, and irritatingly professional, but whenever he saw you he would just stop and stare, always with the same hungry look – the one that was starting to give you nightmares – and, consequently, you tried to evade him like the plague, but your paths crossed so often it was starting to ruin your life.

“You’re folding the eggs wrong.” Bucky admonished, trying to take the bowl from you. The two of you had been trying to make a decent souffle for weeks, but the results were always the same sad little chocolate blobs on the bottom of ramekins.

“Get your hands off my souffle.” You warned, bumping your hips against his.

“You’re doing it too fast.” He didn’t sound like he was joking around.

“Alright, you do it then.” You mumbled, shoving the bowl into his chest and turning around with a dramatic sigh.

Then, you heard familiar steps coming down the hall.

“I gotta go.” You blurted out, pushing against the counter to propel yourself forward faster.

Bucky’s head snapped up to look at you, but before he could ask you what was wrong Steve stepped into the kitchen. You locked eyes with him and you froze like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hey.” Bucky greeted, which tore Steve’s gaze from you. The blond smiled and waved to his friend, rushing past you like you weren’t even there.

You took a shaky breath and continued with your planned route to get as far away from Steve as possible. It was getting worse, you were sure. Whatever it was he felt, his eyes and breathing grew more intense with every meeting.

You power-walked down two hallways before you heard it again – his footsteps, at first soft, then louder, and finally breaking into a full sprint. You could also hear his ragged breaths and know he wasn’t furious rather than tired.

You ran, but you knew it was hopeless. He was faster, and all you could do wass prepare for the inevitable moment your doom caught up to you. You closed your fists, slowed down and bent your knees as if to fight him, but you didn’t get the chance.

A large hand gripped you by the shoulders and whirled you around, slamming your body against the wall. Steve was above you, his nostrils flaring and his eyes burning holes right through you. You were scared, but you had had too much training to let it show.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked.

“Now, why would _that_ be?” You deadpanned then tried to slip away, but his other hand hit the wall before you could. The shock waves sent tremors through your entire body.

“You know I came back, right?” He asked with a frown “For good.”

“No, I don’t know that, _Rogers_.” You scowled “You don’t tell me anything about what you did in the past, you don’t tell me anything.” You made to push against his left arm, but it curled around your waist just as you touched it.

Steve grabbed your jaw with his other hand and angled it up so you were forced to look at him. He had done this once before. Back then his touch was tender; now his fingers poked your cheeks with enough force to leave a bruise.

“I came back for _you_.” His voice was low, dangerous, and his dilated pupils were locked on yours. The sparks you felt between the two of you were nothing new, but it was the first time they felt like they could and would set something on fire. “I made a mistake. I thought I belonged with Peggy, I thought what we had was enough. I was wrong. I ignored what was between us because I was being an idiot.”

His grip on your face softened, as did the look in his eyes.

“Don’t tell me it was all in my mind.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against yours “Don’t tell me you didn’t feel it too.”

Your throat constricted. If this continued on you would end up crying in front of him, and you couldn’t do that, not after what he did to you. You wouldn’t forgive him, that was beyond the scope of your capabilities now, so you made too push against his chest and turn away from him. His grip became harsh again forcing your mouth to open, and he pulled your head up until your lips were touching.

His kiss was voracious, like a parched man searching for water, but you refused to give into him. You pushed your tongue to the back of your mouth, letting it lay there like a dead fish, hoping it would turn him off.

“Come on” he pulled away and mumbled “you can be mad at me all you want for as long as you want, but don’t pretend there’s nothing between us. I wasted so much time, and I don’t want to waste any more.”

You had wanted to be with him, hoped for it for so long; was it really so wrong to try to forgive him? You thought you had grown immune to him, but now you knew you hadn’t and that was what hurt the most.

It was all your stupid pride’s fault. If you gave him another chance things could go back to what they used to be – better than they used to be. What was the point in resenting him? It only made working together more awkward, and that clearly wasn’t helping you get over him, so what was the harm in giving in? Everyone was entitled to one fuck up, even Steve Rogers, right? You wouldn’t forgive him today, but maybe you could do it in the future.

You gripped his wrist and closed your eyes. You let your tongue move against his, and felt a deep rumbling coming from his chest. He slid his hand down to your neck and pushed his body against his yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself up to get even closer.

You had missed the proximity, you really had, both emotional and physical. You used to like hugging him to listen to his heartbeat, learning their patterns and the emotions behind each one of them.

His heart had never sounded quite like that before.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: And you may ask yourself (well, how did I get here) why did it take months for Steve to come back to the present – shouldn’t he be able to come back to that moment immediately – but, reader, if the Russos will not be bound by the constraints of the particular mode of time travel in their own story, neither will I.


End file.
